2012, or the worst year in my life

There are some people that make an accountability of their achievements. It is natural to do that in the last month of the year. I was born on December so, I used to focus on the new coming year instead of the leaving year. However this year pushed me to make recounts of not only those months but my whole life. I think it is not good to label the years because one tends to pre-condition him/herself but I have strong reasons to describe this year as the worst in my life.

I think it is not useful to evaluate the years because I believe our lives are a continuum. What I try to mean is the time is an illusion. We measure our life on the cycles of nature, on holidays, on historical events, but I have the deep intuition that they are only conventions. We decide what we believe in and what we do not. Nevertheless the cultural conventions are like a tsunami wave that devastates all our personal believes.

Hence, I feel this is my worst year and I can enumerate some facts that help to sustain this feeling: 1) my father committed suicide; 2) I tried to take care of his dogs but I could not; 3) one of the dogs suffers from epilepsy and the other from liver illness; 4) I moved to received them to a more expensive house and the garage’s roof fell over my fiancée’s car; 5) the car was destroyed and we remain far away from our works; 5) my sister was fired from her work; 6) my fiancée was fired too; 7) I have problems with my job in the university because I am not enlisted in any political group; 8) I lost my scholarship; 9) I lost my thesis advisor because she was angry I do not want to fight for my scholarship; 10) I broke my tooth, the left central incisor, when I was sparring with a classmate in recreational boxing class. Maybe I am forgetting some sad events but I think these are enough to me.

To sum up, I think this year was not the end of the world but it was the end of the world I used to know. I feel I did not know how bad could be a year before this one. The losing of my father maybe put me in this negative view of the year BUT I think I am in a different way, I feel more optimistic because I am sure the worst is not in the future, the worst is this. All my future years probably would have troubles and loses but this horrible year tough me how to react to them and how to survive. So, maybe even the worst can make you stronger.